Trust, Corona, and Me

Trust

Trust is something I’ve been thinking a lot about recently. What builds it? What breaks it? And at a spiritual level, what is it to God? How do we trust Him in times of flux in a way honourable to God?

So many things in this season of earth’s history are in upheaval. Even the way we are interacting with each other has changed these past few months as the COVID-19 virus has swept the world with panic and hysteria. We are alone, left to our thoughts and the insecurities we were trying to drown with all our business. In this time of contemplation, I can almost feel the demons in the closet testing faith worse than we felt faith being tested while living normal life.

Trust is fundamental. It is centre to any relationship. It is central to faith. To me, my relationship with Christ is the most important, most central relationship I can think of. And while social distancing, and happy-birthday hand washing rituals continue to hold, I have felt that very relationship questioned. Not the cliché’ “is God real?” kind of question, although that is important too. But for me, its been “do I trust You God? Do I really trust You? Am I trusting You?”  Because really, am I? Or am I just mouthing that I trust God and doing it all myself? Is that why I have had such stress recently? Because I don’t want to trust God and I just want to work everything out myself?

This morning in worship I was reading the story of Elijah in the Old Testament. It is such a good story. It talks about a man who, had chosen to trust in God, but eventually got so worn out doing what God was asking him to do that he wound up laying in the dirt somewhere asking God to kill him. But was revived, fed, watered and sent a helper by God and continued on to be an even bigger blessing to his country. In so many ways Elijah is my hero. I can’t count how many times I’ve ended up lying in the dirt asking God to just stop trying to use me, because, quite frankly – it’s a lot of pain and hard work.

Anyways. So, I started reading the story again. Elijah was minding his own business when God came to him and told him that he needed to go interrupt the king for a minute and tell him that because he was not trusting in God, or even choosing to worship Him, drought would come on the land and they would all suffer for three years. Elijah was crazy and he did it. First point for Elijah for having faith and trust in God. Then, Elijah walks out of the palace and becomes the most wanted man in Israel. No worries though, because God had a plan. He told him to go live by a river and eat bird-food. Now, I just want to imagine Elijah for a minute.

Imagine sitting outside, by a river, sticks poking your butt because…That’s what riverbeds have next to them and waiting for your neighbourly raven to bring you your breakfast. That is trust. I can imagine him talking to God about how his faith was being tested, and how he was going to trust in God and then just thinking to himself like “wow. Look at me, I am actually trusting God, and this is working out. This is huge trust. I am even trusting that I won’t get caught out here.” And then the river dried up. Yeah, the river dried up. At this point, Elijah must have thought he’d reached his peak in spiritual faith. That he had been so noble to truly trust God and eat bird-food for months. And then the river dried up.

I want to pause here and draw a point. God has promised to always provide for our needs. All our needs. Physical, financial, emotional, spiritual. But we seem to always be in need of something. Seems God has always forgotten something really big. Like not drying the river up for Elijah. And where it really hurts is when we think we’ve been giving God all the trust He needed to keep His promise. That is where the lesson is. God doesn’t need our trust to keep His promises. He just keeps them. Did He ever say He was going to do it in one, consistent, expected, comfortable way always? No. He just said He was going to do it. Trust is not dependent on circumstance. God just expects it. God isn’t bound by our trust in Him to do any one thing any particular way. God ended up telling Elijah to move along and go to a widow who was desperate for water, food, and a hope to live. God sent His thirsty servant to another, thirstier person that her faith might be strengthened. Do you see that? God just expected Elijah to trust Him in what He was being asked to do next, and simply told him to do it. Where the whole thing could have gone wrong was if Elijah didn’t go. If he sat and cried and complained about the river drying up and then said that God forgot all about him.

As God’s children and God’s servants, we are called to “be still and know that I (He) is God”. That is literally it. So often we think that our trust confines God to do our will. But it what it actually does, is confines us to our own expectations which go unmet, causing us to blame God and further distance us from our Father and Saviour.

It is also important to notice that Elijah was always given a mission and then a break. We find him working, and then resting. God cared for Elijah’s emotional needs too. He gave Elijah a break before sending him to the widow. We will be taken care of both physically and emotionally IF we allow God to rule our lives. It takes submission of our wills and a willingness to do what makes no sense. But it also means perfect peace and health.

For me, that submission is the submission of control. Of needing to know what will happen and having all the answers. For me, it means letting go of my expectation and trusting God’s process. Trusting that He has me where He wants me and as times, seasons, people all change, I will be carried through with the same care that Elijah received no matter what. To let go, to be free, to trust, is the biggest blessing one could ever receive.