Paradigm - Good Girls Going Bad
Today was strange. It was great, but yet completely unsatisfying. I kept making mistakes. Those stupid kind of mistakes that makes one wonder if they are ever capable of learning anything.
It was late and I was getting ready for bed when a friend asked me how my day was. When I went to answer her I realized I felt ashamed for all those mistakes I had made. The half truthful answer about myself at school, the lack of self-control in my speech, the impatience I displayed in the evening. Ahh...The stress started to rise in my throat again. "I should be so much better than this by now. Why am I not perfect yet??" Then words started to form in my mind:
And then I saw it - God's paradigm. The closer we come to His holiness, the grosser we look. The closer we come to Him, the worse we'll seem. And as we see our natural selves growing uglier and uglier, we will learn to lean on Him and distrust ourselves. And the more we distrust ourselves, the less answers we'll have. Because you see, where we end, is where He begins.
It was late and I was getting ready for bed when a friend asked me how my day was. When I went to answer her I realized I felt ashamed for all those mistakes I had made. The half truthful answer about myself at school, the lack of self-control in my speech, the impatience I displayed in the evening. Ahh...The stress started to rise in my throat again. "I should be so much better than this by now. Why am I not perfect yet??" Then words started to form in my mind:
Just because I know God Doesn't mean I've got all the answers.
In fact, the very fact I know God shows I probably ran out of answers at some point.
And like, good girls make mistakes too
Like, we might not be out on the town but our hearts are lying, selfish, proud muscles, banging their rhythms into our lives.
And the very quest of being good
Turns up more bad than being bad ever could
And the more you see through heaven's eyes the blacker you become.
It's like I'm called to be righteous, but the more I try the nastier I seem.
Yeah, I ran out of answers awhile ago.
And then I saw it - God's paradigm. The closer we come to His holiness, the grosser we look. The closer we come to Him, the worse we'll seem. And as we see our natural selves growing uglier and uglier, we will learn to lean on Him and distrust ourselves. And the more we distrust ourselves, the less answers we'll have. Because you see, where we end, is where He begins.
"the more you see through heaven's eyes the blacker you become.
ReplyDeleteIt's like I'm called to be righteous, but the more I try the nastier I seem."
Isn't this the truth...Satan works so much harder on us as we become closer to God, as we call on Him to help us throughout our day. Staying focused on God; calling on Him for strength throughout our day is the only way we can grow closer to Him. I'm thankful our God will take us as we are and continue to work on us throughout our daily lives.
The only way to get stronger is to lift heavier weights. As we aim to grow in God, he gives us bigger convictions and these convictions come with temptations from the devil. By faith we find the strength we need to persevere.
DeleteJames 1:2-4